The Power of Words in Addiction and Suicide Attempt Recovery Work

Today I want to talk about two topics closely connected to my professional practice: substance dependence and the support offered to clients who have attempted suicide.

I would like to highlight the vital role of language in empowering the client’s ability to overcome emotional and dependency-related challenges. For coaching to be truly effective, it must incorporate positive, supportive language that reinforces the client’s inner strength and motivation. It is essential to focus on words that foster hope and resilience, while actively avoiding language that could lead to a relapse into negative or self-destructive thought patterns.

Effective language for Recovery- Clients with Addiction.

Words carry profound influence, yet this is often underestimated. Taking the time to be intentional with language, understanding the impact of each term and phrase, can make a significant difference in guiding the client toward lasting change and self-empowerment.

Why this topic? In some peripheral or underserved geographical areas, certain professionals still use outdated language when working therapeutically with people who struggle with substance use or addiction. Terms like “clean” and “dirty”, often used in medical contexts to describe urine test results, can in fact have a deeply negative impact on patients and clients.

In my experience, changing this language can have an almost immediate positive effect on a client’s self-esteem.

During a recent session, as soon as a client used one of these terms to describe himself, I gently stopped him and explained that in my profession, I prefer to avoid such language. I strongly believe that these words can limit the effectiveness of treatment. Long-term substance users often approach coaching or therapy with already low self-esteem, and using stigmatizing terms to define their condition only reinforces that inner damage.

When I explain this perspective, clients often look genuinely surprised; they’re not used to reflecting on how language affects their mindset. More than once, I’ve heard: “But when I go to the methadone clinic, that’s how the doctor usually refers to me…”

When I ask what emotions this kind of language evokes, many admit it makes them feel sadder, and that their hope of overcoming addiction feels somehow weakened. Every time I invite them to think of alternative terms, they’re initially taken aback. Then, together, we begin a flow of ideas. I ask them to write down or tell me which words they would choose to describe themselves differently.

Using language that leaves room for hope and positive change, without constantly highlighting the addiction, has proven, in some cases, to be very effective. Of course, it doesn’t work for everyone. But for some clients who are truly motivated to address their substance use, being described with less denigrating and less demeaning terms helps them feel valued and seen as more than their struggle.

It’s something worth reflecting on, not only in the therapy room, but beyond it. Words can hurt, even when spoken with the best of intentions.

Understanding and Supporting Those Who Have Attempted Suicide & People close to them.

Attempting suicide is not a crime, nor should it ever be experienced as a stigma by the person who has tried to end his/her life. Nor should it be treated as such by those closest to them, especially family members/friends.

It is a deeply difficult situation to overcome and requires appropriate treatment. Alongside therapy, a coaching journey can be incredibly valuable in reinforcing lifestyle changes, strengthening positive routines, and helping the individual “turn the page” and reconnect with life.

Sometimes, families are caught completely off guard by such an event. In response, different family members may develop overwhelming feelings of guilt that lead them to deny or bury reality altogether.

Common Denials:

• “It never really happened.”

• “It was just an accident.”

  
  

But that is not the case.

Admitting that signs of distress and suffering were missed is painful. Yet, if the person has survived, hope must become the guiding light, for both the individual and the family, to find a way out of the tunnel.

The future can be different. It’s possible to reshape it positively. Nobody can predict exactly what might be found when turning a new corner.

Asking for Help

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; on the contrary, it is a sign of strength, especially when emotions seem overwhelming.

Survivors, along with their close relatives and friends, need support, and it should not feel like a stigma or something that needs to be hidden. Recovery from trauma takes time, and everyone involved must be conscious of that or seek help to acknowledge the reality.

Every case is different, and unfortunately, today’s society often pushes for a quick recovery to become functional again as soon as possible. With teenagers and young adults, this is not recommended. The recovery process cannot be rushed.#

The Path to Healing

Recovery takes time and courage to face difficulties and ask for help. Language plays a crucial role here: the words we choose can either trap a person in shame or help them slowly begin to see a more positive, compassionate future.

Language to Avoid

Certain expressions, even when said with good intentions, can be harmful or invalidating for someone who has attempted suicide or is undergoing therapy and coaching. People close to someone who has attempted their life should be gentle and avoid certain words or phrases:

-            “You were selfish.”

-            “You scared everyone.”

-            “You should be grateful you’re alive.”

-            “It was just a phase.”

-            “Don’t think about it anymore.”

-            “Everything happens for a reason.”

-            “At least now it’s over.”

These expressions can increase shame, reinforce guilt, or make the person feel misunderstood and emotionally isolated.

Language That Heals

Supportive language helps create safety, trust, and openness, an essential mindset for effective therapeutic and coaching work. Here are some examples:

-            “I’m really glad you’re here.”

-            “I’m here to listen whenever you want to talk.”

-            “You don’t have to go through this alone.”

-            “Your pain must have been really deep and unbearable.”

-            “It’s okay to take things one step at a time.”

-            “Asking for help is a sign of strength.”

Here are some tips for anyone facing difficult situations related to this topic:

For those walking alongside a person in recovery, language should:

- Acknowledge pain without judgment.

- Avoid minimizing or rationalizing the experience.

- Reinforce hope without pressure

- Focus on progress, not perfection

Examples:

-            Instead of “You need to move on,” say:→ “We’ll face this together, at your pace.” 

-            Instead of “Why didn’t you tell us?” say:→ “I wish I had understood sooner, and I want to understand better now.”

-            Instead of “Be positive,” say:→ “Even small steps forward matter.”